All any of us wants is to be fucking understood, like someone else in the goddamn world looking at you and seeing every single thing that broke your trust and every backhanded comment that you can’t scrub out of your consciousness and every excuse you make for yourself and every label you put on yourself to keep from floating in all different directions. Everyone wants someone to see all of that and come and drink you up anyways and to give you love that would make you fall down to your knees sobbing with shaky hands and quivering lips. And what is sadder than all of the homicide, abused animals, rape, and ignorance in the world is that no one will ever know everything about you except the crazy person in your head that you are loathe to admit is you.
Something that upsets me is our generation’s loss of wonder and amazement. We are an age group that describes pizza as being epic. We are not entertained by something unless it is over the top, theatrical, and sexy. We have seen everything in the world and know more more than any other generation without leaving our screens. But the not knowing is what is supposed to make life worthwhile. Not knowing and being preoccupied by the small and the inconsequential is what keeps interest in life alive. We are a hard-to-please and wonder less group of people, and that is sad.
I don’t usually do this, but I want to complain.
My arms look weird.
I want to lose weight.
I have been vegan for a week and a half and have gained weight and inches.
How the fuck does that work?
I have a final tomorrow that I should study for but I am here instead.
That is my own fault.
My house is dirty.
I need a haircut.
I have some sort of rash all over my body.
Did I mention my arms look weird?
On the bright side, my boyfriend has a cute butt.
When I’m not pushing people away I am being a bother to those I haven’t yet.
I think that is is so dumb.
All that shit does is spawn judgement, hate, and self criticism.
Like “Who wore it better”? Come on. Just because two people happen to like the same outfit doesn’t mean that comparing them is necessary. What does it matter how they look as long as they like how they look?
If magazines can critique Angelina Jolie, Emma Stone, Johnny Depp, Beyonce, George Clooney, Josh Hutcherson, and Jennifer Lawrence who are some of the most stereotypically attractive people in our society, then it means that us little people don’t stand much of a chance, do we?
Do the world a favor and stop reading celebrity gossip and focus on loving yourself and everyone around you instead of judging.